Division 9
Commericals: W Realt Dearg C: L Final score TBC Sunday 26th March 2017 Star-spangled invaders fail to find Weapons of Mass Destruction 'Do not yield. Do not flinch. Stand up. Stand up with our President and fight. We're Americans. We're Americans, and we'll never surrender. They will.' John McCain, Aug. 30, 2004 Coach McEvoy's stirring pre-match rabble-rousing reminded me of this long since forgotten speech at the beginning of a great invasion into enemy territory. Sure, the enemy may have been different, there wasn't an American amongst us (we miss you Zack) and our 'President' was a young greenhorn captain by the name of Donal. Such speeches can stir a man into a frenzy of hurling anticipation and in the way that when you have a hammer, all you see is nails; there was a similar desire to turn anything in view into a potential sliotar. However, the frenzy subsided when the search for an actual match sliotar took over a minute . And so to the actual main event. The pock-marked pitch was bathed in glorious sunshine and the fare on show in the opening minutes complemented the rare March glare as both sides started brightly. Young Davy Sheehan was keeping the scoreboard ticking over in the opening quarter and both sides were moving well in the unseasonal conditions. A minor tête-à-tête broke out between one of the senior Realt Dearg defensive stalwarts and a grisly Commercials unit. The referee took it upon himself to give all of the players on show some much needed respite by possibly reciting the whole rule book to each player sequentially before brandishing a yellow card to each. A true humanitarian. Commercials meant business and it was obvious that the match fitness they had under their belt would stand to them on a day like this. That 1st round bye that the Cs were given wasn't looking as good now as it was when we took advantage of the weekend off to help struggling publicans. That brings us to the Evergreen Paddy Ryan Snr. Experience personified. Nous. Guile. Paddy bestrode the middle of the park like a hurling icon your da' told you his da' told him about. At least, he bestrode the park in his head; they say that that the first five yards is in the head, and Paddy covered some middle distance Kenyan territory in that first quarter. He pulled the strings like a puppet master of old, spraying sliotars to the man in space time after time. In the heat of the battle, there wasn't time to search out Coach McEvoy's emotions, but surely he was a picture of calm, serenity and satisfaction in seeing the youth, experience and guile fusing together into a Division 9 dream team. All was going to plan. 22 minutes in. Beginners starting to hurl and hurler starting to flourish. One of the great imposters was surely to visit Coach McEvoy's day but one moment dictated that it would not be triumph. One of the Commercials men must have heard Coach McEvoy's call to arms and have acted late upon his emotions. Bash. Silence. Crumple. Picasso with an ash paintbrush was down. A head injury. It was a bit like Independence Day when Will Smith & Jeff Goldbloom injected a virus into the main computer and took out the whole battalion. And such it was. Gavin Deacon replaced the downed midfield General and battled manfully. His swordsmanship meant the team were holding tight to half time but the virus had taken control and the disaster took hold when a well placed goal from a Commercials man rattled the confidence of the visiting team in their maiden game. There were two acts in this game; before Paddy's injury (BPI) and after Paddy's injury (API). In the BPI; the Realt Dearg 'C-men' showed that they could go toe to toe with the best team in the division on their home turf. (turf is an appropriate description of the state of the pitch), debuts were enjoyed and partnerships were formed. In the API, the Iraqi war analogy came to fruition. Battles that were even at the beginning were lost and it ended up with a return home with plans to perform better invasions in the future and safe in the knowledge that we are now battle hardened. More debuts and re-debuts were made on Sunday then ever before in the club's history. Honourable mentions to the new lads who will have to be hazed in the usual ways; listening to Uncle Leon's tales of yore. 'When I was your age, I had hair' and so on. Well done to Keith Murphy, David 'Eraserhead' Lynch and Michael Gavin making their full debuts and to 'Bernard Herlihy and Michael Cummins making their re-debuts after an absence. P.S. an exotic creature was seen lurking on the sideline; the lesser seen hurler from Tyrone. Such rarities put the club's erstwhile far flung hurling experimenters from the continent and North America into the ha'penny place. The club expects big things. Team in Full: Kevin Deady, Patrick Ryan (Bernard Hurlihy), Ross Kelly, Leon Flanagan (Kevin McEvoy), Domhnall Carbery (captain), Eoin Ryan, Michael Gavin, Cillian Thornton, Paddy 'Pirlo' Ryan (Gavin Deacon), David Lynch, Ray Cahill, Keith Murphy, Gary ' Becks' Walsh (Michael Cummins), Dave Sheehan, James Brooks
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